The jungle of modern dating!

For those who are still bidding their time in looking for the perfect mate, this piece is a wake up call for them. First, the bible states clearly that there will be no marriage in heaven, and for very good reasons too which I will expound in a short while. Now, if that is the case, and Kenya’s life expectancy is below 50 years, then anyone above the age of 25 and hopes to get married but is dilly dallying in the hope of capturing the elusive soul mate need to up their game now.

Let me substantiate my earlier statement about no marriage in heaven. There is this time the Pharisees, in an attempt to test Jesus, came to him with a hypothetical situation. The story was of a woman who marries a man and he dies before he can sire any children with her; consequently, the man’s brother marries the woman to continue his dead brother’s lineage. Unfortunately, the second brother dies without giving the woman any children and a third brother steps in to save the family tree, but he too dies. This goes on until the last brother, the seventh, also dies without having any children with the woman. Thinking themselves very clever, the Pharisees then posed to Jesus this question, “when the woman dies and she eventually gets to heaven, whose wife will she be?” And that is where Jesus makes the shocking revelation, at least to the Pharisees, that there will be no marriage in heaven.

The process of getting a suitable spouse in today’s world in a laborious uphill task that only the brave and strong of heart should dare to attempt. The golden old days when men were serious and lived up to their responsibilities are today buried in the annals of history. In those days, a man did not engage in casual sex and go sowing his wild oats all over. If you made a girl pregnant out of wedlock, then you lived up to your responsibility and married her and helped her to raise your child. And such a man did not go wandering to other women in the name of love; he faced the consequences of his action like a true man. I guess circumcision actually meant something at that time. It distinguished the men from the boys.

In the modern world, dating has become a very complex and ruthless affair and those getting into the arena need to have properly girded themselves for a bruising battle. To begin with, there is the vicious cycle which is part of Mother Nature; Jane wants John but John wants Catherine. Unfortunately, Catherine couldn’t care less about John, she is pining for Michael and the story goes on. It is almost miraculous for two people to actually want each other at the exact same given period in time. And what is even more distressing is that most people, when they are lucky enough for the miracle to happen to them, don’t realize that the probabilities are set against them and they go ahead to do a pretty good job of messing up things.

One of the most constant complaints I hear from my girlfriends is that there are simply no husband material men. Today’s men have become exotic sportsmen and hunters with the prey being as many girls as they can lay their hands on. The women too cannot be absolved from blame with the increasing attitude of ‘two can play the game’ urging them on. As a result, we have a harem going on.

Then of course there is the very tedious process of trying to vet a potential spouse and nowadays there are just so many bad behaviours and mannerisms out there that the check list and vetting procedure is closer to a dissertation than a list. And even when you get a prospective, you still have to deal with those who argue that nothing is final till death and will not accept their loss in love graciously.

Musical diva Whitney Houston who sang the song “Where do broken hearts go” may have to re-edit the song because today’s broken hearts heal at an amazing speed. You dump your boyfriend over SMS today and next week you are head over heels in love with another man. C’est la vie.

The more I think about dating today, the more the match making that used to be done by parents in the past era seems attractive. And for the future generation, we should start not only match making but marrying them at birth and then monitoring them and we may save a lot of people a lot of problems.