STRENGTH OF A WOMAN

Last weekend I witnessed something that convinced me that the idea that there can even be a battle among the sexes is a myth informed by eons of ignorance. The reality is really simple: women are the stronger sex with the men not only falling short but not comparable. In fact, men really should stop their posturing as the stronger sex that is supposed to protect the damsels in distress because really, the strength of a woman is mind blowing.You must be wondering by now what gibberish I am going on about, especially for our dear chauvinists, so let me stop dangling the carrot and give you the actual carrot. I witnessed a delivery of a new born baby. Kate*, my friend, was giving birth and I was given access by the hospital to be with her right from the onset of her labour to the actual delivery. I saw it all.In retrospect, maybe I should not have jumped at the opportunity. What I witnessed in there has left me permanently traumatized and I think I will only have children when scientists find a way to make men get pregnant, carry the baby to full term and give birth with the utmost pain possible. The day this discovery will be made, I will be the first one to run to the streets and capture a husband.As Kate’s husband and I kept her company during the endless hours of labour contractions, and as I watched her writhe in pain, I kept wondering how much more she could endure. Kate is lucky to be blessed with an exceptional gem of a husband; I don’t think there are ten men in the world of his calibre. This man braved his wife’s howls of pain and he was with her right up to the point the baby came out.But unlike Kate, there were many other women in the maternity ward who were not as lucky. I listened to these women letting out heart rending screams of pain with no one to comfort them. They were all alone with their husbands either too cowardly to be with them during that moment; – yet they did not have a problem participating in making the baby – or in some bar drinking with their buddies and bragging about how they were soon to become fathers.Kate was in labour for more than 12 hours before the baby came but if you saw her the next day, you would not believe that she is the same woman who had gone through such a horrible experience.Apart from childbirth, women are constantly faced by many other challenges; there is their monthly menses which is a whole story by itself. During ‘that time of the month’ women are besieged by their own bodies with hormones running amok and with that, fluctuation of emotions strikes and yet, the woman is expected to go on with her daily chores uninterrupted.It is not enough that the woman is the one who gives birth, her irresponsible husband largely abandons the duty of raising the children to her and in some instances, he will completely abscond duty leaving her to fend for her young ones through whatever means possible.There are also the cultural and societal systems that are skewed against the woman with our society being largely a patrilineal one, which basically means the men are allowed to laze about in the pretext of leading while in actual sense the women hold the society together by their hard work and concerted efforts.The woman, especially the African woman, is subjected to loads and loads of setbacks throughout her life but somehow, she is able to prevail. From physical suffering to emotional and psychological suffering that she faces, the woman stands, a strong tower fortified by steel, allowing nothing to stand in her way.A woman is as tender and soft as a feather when her loved ones need her for comfort and strength, and yet, she is an indomitable warrior when they need her protection and she will die to protect them.A man? My vocabulary fails me; I cannot bring forth equally poetic words to describe him. The only pain which he probably goes through is circumcision and that is really a voluntary one time pain that is quickly forgotten. In everything else, society has laid for him a table with the choicest things that life has to offer and yet he does not take what is freely given to him.When the musician Shaggy sang the song Strength of a woman¸ he knew what he was talking about. It is the right of every woman in the world to be loved, cherished but most importantly respected. And as for giving birth, for those men who insist on having zillions of children or possess the Neanderthal thinking of getting a boy despite having four lovely girls, they should zip up unless they will carry the pregnancy for half the time and give birth.